• 9 Tricks to get back your sex life

    Starting up this blog, I want to share some ideas on how you can get your partner fired up again if your sex life has stalled. Here are nine very specific ideas about what you can do

  • The sexual desire - and the lack thereof

    The sexual desire is there for life. From the time we are born - and perhaps sooner than that - and till we shut down. It is conscious and visible, and it is unconscious. It's in day dreams and in night as well At this point, all people are alike, even though we are different in many other respects.

  • Premature ejaculation: The Start-stop Technique

    Premature ejaculation is a common and embarrassing problem. We look at the causes and the treatment for this condition.

Sunday, October 26

The chase for potency

More and more men  a using Viagra. But how do these pills, what should pay attention to and what to do if you want to talk to their doctors about erectile dysfunction, but can not really crack the talk?

The consumption of Viagra increases steadily. In 2008, exactly 69,438 men Viagra - about 2,200 more than in 2007. It should be noted that the official figure - that is, that men have been on a trip around the doctor to get a prescription for the pills. But on top should be a number of men who buy sexual enhancement products on the black market. By its nature known number not, but it is estimated to be large.

For there are still many men who are reluctant to go to the doctor and tell them that they have problems with erection. They can therefore be tempted by one of the countless mails about Viagra that pop up in the electronic mailbox. And it can be an expensive and dangerous acquaintance. In general, cutting down not many dollars by trading on the black market, but more important is that you have no idea what you get. If you are lucky, it seems the pills properly, or they are harmless, but you run the risk that the pills are downright dangerous to health.

So if you have your health dear, there's no way around the doctor who otherwise hardly lift an eyebrow at being presented with an erection problem. It's so common to have problems with erection, that every other man at one time or another experience it.

Men now seek help more often
Consultant Peter Lyngdorf, who runs a clinic for sexual dysfunctions in Gentofte and is one of the doctors who know the most about impotence, or erectile dysfunction as the experts prefer to call it, seeing also that men have been better to seek help, when your sex life is not working as it should.

- The first time I had my clinic, it took about two years, the man got the symptom, he sought help. Now it only takes from six months to a year. So men are better at doing something about it, and they have clearly easier to talk about erectile problems today, said Peter Lyngdorf.

He is not blind to the fact that the very fact that he is a specialist and is not the same as the man also goes to other health problems that may affect transparency. He experiences so often that the patient does not want him to inform the practitioner about the treatment he gets started.

It starts with the doctor
The norm is that it is the practitioner, the man goes to when he has problems with erection. And the first visit is often associated with a good deal of anxiety and uncertainty. As easy it is therefore not to talk about something that most perceived as very private.

It may therefore be a good idea to order a physical health check. So you will not have to share with the Secretary of the problem, and also the doctor will also start to take an interest in your overall health.

For erectile dysfunction can be caused by various physical conditions such as age and disease. Problems with erection is not necessarily a consequence of age, although it will be difficult for many to achieve a proper erection as years. In contrast, a number of the diseases, we particularly affected by the age, cause problems. This applies, for example, atherosclerosis, diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

Then the doctor will also take an interest in your lifestyle, for example, whether you smoke when he must uncover what the cause of erectile problems can be. It is critical to the ability to get an erection, the blood flow to the penis is adequate, and smoke (and alcohol) affects the blood vessels and increasing blood supply to the penis.

The desire has to be there
The background to an erection is that the brain sends a signal to the cells in the lower part of the spinal cord, which in turn via nerve fibers sends a message to the arteries that carry blood to the penis to expand, making the blood supply is increased. In turn, the spongy tissue of the penis fill with blood, and then the uprising there.

To get an erection should psyche, hormonal balance, nervous system and vascular system all play together. But first and foremost, the man want. If the desire is missing, helps no Viagra. The pills suports only the process that happens when the man is sexually stimulated - they do not like themselves.

Lack of power is all in fact often stress or unresolved issues with your partner. So it is trying doctor also clarify.

Three kinds of pills
If not a psychological cause of erectile failure, the first choice is often Viagra or PDE-R inhibitor, as they are called.

There are three kinds: Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. The three drugs are equally effective, said Peter Lyngdorf, but there is a difference in how long they last. Viagra is effective for 6-8 hours, 8-10 hours and Levitra Cialis up to 36 hours. Usually taken the pills half an hour before the man wants an erection, but Cialis is available in a small dose can be taken daily. This means that there is always sufficiently high concentration in the blood that man can achieve an erection.

As with most medications, it also applies here that there can be side effects, namely headache, facial flushing and easier visual disturbances. But of them all was that the side effects are less and less the longer you use them. Taken together, the pills work on about 70 percent of all patients.

There is one group of men who can not take pills for potency, namely those suffering from chest pain (angina) and therefore takes nitroglycerin-containing preparations. If these drugs are combined with Viagra, there is a clear risk of excessive blood pressure decrease in the patient.

But there is nothing to prevent that patients taking other heart medications, can use Viagra, Cialis or Levitra, said Peter Lyngdorf. There is no increased risk of either a heart attack or stroke by taking them. People who have had a heart attack or have had high blood pressure, can easily use Viagra if their heart condition is stable phase, ie, that it is more than three months ago, the last had problems

Everything will be as before.
And they work well in the sense that the man's orgasm is quite the same as before, he used Potency. And they have also the added benefit that the man does not need such a long pause before he could second time.

- It's usually not matter, but you've all figured out that the waiting period will be shorter, says Peter Lyngdorf. He also says that the pills have no negative effect on sperm production. The man can certainly make the woman pregnant, even though he must have the help of Viagra.

The vast majority who take Viagra, is over 50 years. But in fact there were 71 men between 15 and 19 who used Viagra in 2008. And there is no upper limit. 5 men over 95 years grabbed a pill in 2008, figures from the Danish Medicines Agency. The oldest patient, Peter Lyngdorf has prescribed pills, was 92 years.

Peter Lyngdorf stresses that Viagra is not always the right thing for a man with erectile problems. There are cases where the patient's lifestyle or attitude is less appropriate, and here you talk therapy either for the man alone, or together with your partner, be in place. And it helps a lot, he says.

Women has to wait
There is no sexual enhancement products for women. There a lot of research like pills, but it has not yet succeeded researchers to find the formula that can give women more sex.

Sunday, October 19

Masturbation and ejaculation

How does masturbation feel? 
Your sex life is still aloof in some areas despite the fact that today virtually can speak, write and show pictures of almost everything this part of human life holds. This applies to masturbation - it stimulating and touching themselves in and around the groin and penis, so you give yourself sexual release. Although by now has become more transparency on issues like masturbation, is still not telling anyone about his sexual activities or demonstrate them in the general public. It is after all still private.

A built-in modesty and perhaps a respect for others, modesty enough to play a role. This modesty was of rulers 100 years ago, among other things used as a means of repression of sexuality. And in this context it was used to support the claim that masturbation a sin and depravity, which at worst could lead masturbation stone into mental illness and bodily decay. Cold ablutions, hands on top of the covers and the "think of something else" was well-intentioned but totally inadequate advice to prevent girls and boys to study and tinker with themselves.

How do boys masturbates? 
Virtually all boys - men, for that matter - have tried to masturbate once, many times or do it regularly. It is so easy to go to the boys when they get an erection. They learn that way also their release to know that culminates in ejaculation. Boys masturbate alone, in pairs or in larger flocks. It is quite natural, harmless and - although boys are in this together - it has nothing to do with homosexuality to do any more than one can be gay it.

How do girls masturbate? 
Girls masturbating probably much rarer, but gradually it is also for girls has become more common and acceptable - especially for the girl herself, every now and then. Girls know that their abdomen - the vagina, labia and clitoris - are natural parts of their body. They get used to that it is natural and normal to look at themselves - for example, with a mirror placed between the legs - or to touch herself on the breasts and crotch and boost the life, sexual sensations rise and may reach the peak of sexual excitement, called release or orgasm.

Girls masturbate less often together or in groups, presumably because of their sexuality developed in a different way than boys. But the urge to release is equal in men and women. Just as men can have joy and need to masturbate throughout their lives, there are also many women who do it.

What is an orgasm? 
The orgasm feels like a warm, rhythmic trembling perhaps cramping sensation in the groin. It can be spread out throughout the body, and end up in a warm, lovely relaxation. While male orgasm or ejaculation is pretty much the same from time to time and at any fakd can be registered only by sædudtømmelsen as the culmination, the women's orgasms often much more different both from woman to woman and from time to time. Therefore, it can be good to teach her sexual feelings and his orgasms to know.

Is it natural to masturbate? 
Masturbation is not just a substitute for sexual intercourse between two people, it is a supplement that nobody needs to be ashamed of, though obviously just as a little something special to brag about. It is just natural and nice for most people. If you want to or need to masturbate, you should do it. Whether you are a boy or girl, young or old. And if you have no desire or craving, you obviously just leave it. Both are equally natural.

Monday, October 13

The man's sexual responses

What is sexual feelings? 

Sexual feelings comes from within and is a part of life itself. Neither prayers, spells or cold washes can remove the sexual feelings or prevent them from coming to terms in some way.

Most men have unconscious sexual feelings and thoughts many times a day. And at night - in his sleep - just like that. To wake up with an erection and even ejaculation know most.

Sex is as natural and necessary part of life, such as hunger and thirst represents vital needs.

What is sexual stimulation? 

Sexual stimulation will on the other hand from the outside. It may be something you see, hear, read or marks on his body. And the thought alone may be sufficient. Men can get an erection without using your hand or other devices just by closing your eyes and thinking intently at something lascivious.

What is the man's sexual responses? 

  • The man's sexual responses can be divided into three. First comes the excitement of increasing sexual arousal. Then comes the orgasm phase with ejaculation, and finally comes relaxation phase. 
  • It starts with the fact that you feel at ease and warm skin, while your muscles in the body tighten enjoyable. The flow of blood to the genitals, so you get an erection. The purse is thickened and puckered, while the testicles move up towards the crotch. 
  • A drop of clear liquid butter turns out maybe at the tip, while the foreskin slides back. The nipples rise and may become permanent. 
  • At the same time increases the heart rate and blood pressure. You may feel the blood throb in your veins. And at least you can see it on the penis, which grows, dunking and jump slightly to the beat of the pulse. 
  • The head of the penis rises further, becoming darker, almost purple-red. 
  • You start breathing faster, the skin on the body and face gets more color and warmth. You may begin to sweat. The tension in the muscles of the face and all the way down the body increases. 
  • Gradually, the sexual tension so great that the orgasm is approaching. The release can no longer be held back, and sædudtømmelsen begins. The semen comes in fits and starts 3-5-8 or more offensive with barely a second apart - quite rhythmic due entirely involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles and around the anus. 
  • Prior to this, the semen collected in the upper part of the urethra ready for departure when the final release comes. Semen consists of sperm coming from the testes and seminal fluid, which originates predominantly from the kastaniestore prostate with small seminal vesicles situated below and behind the bladder high in the abdomen. From the prostate is connected to the upper part of the urethra so the sperm can get out that way. The semen is not something with urine to do, even if it comes out the same way. 
  • After the release marks the man very quickly a heartfelt satisfaction and tranquility. Raising decreases rapidly, the penis becomes soft, testicles return to their normal resting position, the body and its muscles relax, heart rate, blood pressure and breathing becomes calm. 
  • Fatigue sets in, and the end of the day, many men fall very fast asleep.

Can you have sex several times in a row? 
In some cases continue sexual play after a short rest period, and especially young men are quite quickly able to regain full erection and ejaculation. The release can be just as good and intense, but semen decreases from time to time by frequent orgasms - and as you also lose a part of the desire which first comes back at full strength after a rest. 

Unlike women multiple orgasms in rapid succession, and without pause a rarity. And so women and men here too different and differently decorated.

Sunday, October 12

The woman's sexual responses

What is sexual feelings?

  • Sexual feelings comes from within and is a part of life itself. Neither prayers, spells, cold ablutions or exhortations to eliminate sexual feelings or prevent them from coming to terms in some way. 
  • Sex is as natural and necessary part of life, such as hunger and thirst represents vital needs. Sex is just natural for women as for men. Women have just as much pleasure and as often sex as men. 
  • It's just not always when men want and on their terms. There is probably some men who have difficulty understanding. And when the sexual desire comes from within, one can easily be misunderstood if the desire is not there right here and now. But it must be men find themselves in! 
  • The opposite also happens regularly that the woman has the desire, while the man is lethargic. But it's just as natural. It should she put up with. For a time at least.
What is sexual stimulation?

  • While the sexual sensations all comes from within and is a part of living, then comes the sexual stimulation from the outside. It may be something you see, hear, read or marks on your body. 
  • The tank alone may be sufficient. Women can have sexual feelings and feel the moisture in the vagina and crotch or heat sensations in the body, without using your hand or other means, but just closing my eyes and thinking intently at something lascivious.
What is the woman's sexual responses?
  • The woman's sexual responses can be divided into three: First comes the excitement of increasing sexual arousal. Then comes the orgasm phase of ejaculation. And finally comes relaxation phase. 
  • It starts with the fact that you feel at ease and warm skin, while your muscles in the body tighten enjoyable. The flow of blood to the genitals, so you feel that your labia swell up a little. You may feel also that the clitoris grows slightly from maybe ærtstørrelse and to double. And you can feel the shaft of the clitoris, which can be felt through the skin in front of or above the clitoris becomes firmer and maybe a little thicker. 
  • Perhaps, you feel that you get wet between the labia, because lubricating fluid from small glands, and because the vaginal wall, so to speak sweat fluid. Already half a minute after the sexual stimulation is started, the mucous membranes wet in many women. 
  • At the same time increases the heart rate and blood pressure. You may feel the blood throb in your veins, also in the groin and around the clitoris. The color of the mucous membranes especially of the labia minora - becomes darker and can be almost purple. 
  • The breasts swell up again in some women more at others less. And the nipples can rise and become tense. 
  • Gradually, when the sexual tension its maximum. At the same time swells lower third of the vagina wall up, while the square at the top of the vagina increases. The uterus is lifted involuntarily up and enlarged, without you noticing it. 
  • On the other hand m staying shaft of the clitoris smaller and the tip of the clitoris can hide in the bulging labia. 
  • You start breathing faster, the skin on the body and face gets more color and warmth. You may begin to sweat. The tension in the muscles of the face and all the way down the body increases. 
  • Gradually, the sexual tension so great that the orgasm is approaching. The release can no longer be held back. One might spasmodic tension in the pelvic floor replaced by rhythmic, involuntary contractions of the lower part of the vagina and the pelvic floor muscles. It happens with barely a second apart, and items in 3-7-12 or more seconds before it fades out. 
  • At the same time the contractions of the uterus high in the abdomen and perhaps rear around the rectum. 
  • And while you may notice that consciousness fades easily, you stop breathing for a short time or utters involuntary sounds in your joyous and intense experience.
Is orgasm the same in all women?
  • Women's orgasm has a different expression, and more differently than men, from time to time and after the stimulation that leads to orgasm. Thus, there is someone who talks about clitoral orgasm that someone feels a lot different than skedeorgasmen. Clitoral orgasm-triggered typically by masturbation and stimulation alone outside, while vaginal-orgasm comes during intercourse. What's best, you can only decide for themselves, and maybe you will notice no difference.
What is the G-spot?
  • There are those who speak of a third type of orgasm that can be triggered by the so-called G-spot named after a German-American gynecologist named Gräfenberg. 
  • Some women, according to his theory and discoveries, a particularly sensitive place, a few centimeters within the vagina. It sits in the front wall of the vagina right near the urethra, which runs in front of the vaginal wall. 
  • Stimulating the G-spot sexually experienced woman a particularly intense orgasm with simultaneous departure of a liquid, as compared with the man's ejaculation. Opinions on the G-spot, its presence and function remain divided.
What happens after orgasm?
  • Following a trip you may notice a heartfelt satisfaction and tranquility. The body and its muscles relax. Heart rate, blood pressure and breathing becomes calm. The breast swelling subsides, the nipples become soft again. The tension in the abdomen decreases. Fatigue may arise, and it is late in the day, you might fall asleep. 
  • But for many women keep the sexual tension also after intercourse. The desire dollars not to the same degree. They want to continue, cuddle on, talk and socialize unlike many male partners who have a hard time keeping up the spirits after ejaculation.
Can you have sex several times in a row?
  • For some women, the next sexual intercourse or the next orgasm perhaps an even greater enjoyment than the first. Some women may get one great orgasm, while others will have several surfaces before it fades out. Also in contrast to men, who are becoming more difficult to cope or live up to expectations. And so women and men so naturally differently equipped.

Wednesday, February 12

The Many Benefits of Massage Therapy

Massage can help you to relax and unwind, this is common knowledge but there are many other benefits to the process.  First it is important to understand what massage actually is in order to explain why it is so beneficial.  This is the general term for manipulation of the skin, muscle groups, tendons and ligaments in the body.  The act of massage is typically offered through hand to body contact but can also be completed with other body parts and aids.  The following are just three of the many benefits of massage therapy.

Relieves Some Mental Issues

Not all massage is for sore muscles.  A massage can be helpful for mental issues such as stress release or anxiety.  The act of massage can help the body to relax which also relaxes the mind in turn.  Many migraine sufferers use massage as an alternative to heavy medication when they feel one coming on.  While it is not only practical to go to the spa every time you’re feeling stressed, anxious or a migraine coming on, you can buy a handheld Hitachi massager so you are prepared at home when the need arises.   You never want to be without a quick and easy massage therapy session, even if nobody else is at home and you need some stress relief.


There are many people who suffer from insomnia to the point where they only get an hour or two of sleep each night.  With the relaxation of massage, these people can shut their mind and body down so that they can actually fall asleep without the use of medication.  Even over-the-counter sleep aids can leave a person feeling “hung over” or with lasting effects.  Not everyone wants to deal with that so they turn to massage as an alternative to medications.  Massage leaves no after affects that are felt in the morning, or all day for some, so is completely holistic and natural.  When you add in a warm bath before the massage, you have a recipe for complete relaxation.

Sport’s Injuries

Sport’s injuries commonly benefit from massage therapy as the increase in blood flow that massage produces aids in the healing.  Not only does it speed up the healing process, but it can reduce pain after stretches of physical therapy that can be very demanding.   A massage can help ease the pain of the injury too and just adds overall relaxation of the joints, muscle and tissue involved in the injury.  It is also important to massage other areas of the body as they tend to take on extra stress making up for the injured area.  When a leg is injured, the other has to take the weight of the body or when an arm is injured it is not used which means all the stressed is placed on the healthy arm and so on. 
If you are considering starting a massage routine, please contact your health care professional first in order to determine if it is appropriate for you and which type of massage would offer the most benefits.

Author Bio:  For many years, Renee Sanchez has worked with individuals to promote a healthier lifestyle through massage therapy.  

Tuesday, December 31

Straight Men’s Lingerie Fetishes

Many men have fetishes that include wearing women’s lingerie.  While many people may think that the only men who wear women’s lingerie are gay men this is simply not true.  Many straight men love the feel of the silk on their skin just as much as women do.  Others need to feel this material in order to get a sexual release.  Finally there are those who simply want to see their women wear the lingerie so they can have it as a souvenir afterwards.  Below is a greater description of the types of straight men and their lingerie fetishes.

Wearing Women’s Lingerie

Many men like the way lingerie feels and looks on their skin and they want to experience what women do when they wear it.  It makes the men feel a little bit sexier in the same way that women feel and there is really nothing wrong with it.  This type of underwear is made to be thin, to breathe and to feel great next to the skin.  There are very few types of men’s underwear that offer this type of material that feels as good against the skin.  This type of man many also enjoy wearing women’s panties rather than men’s because of how it makes them feel.

Sexual Gratification Only When Wearing Lingerie

There are those men who can only feel sexual gratification when they are wearing women’s under garments and they have a hard time becoming satisfied without them.  These straight men feel the need to have this material next to their skin in some way while they are having sexual relations.  It is important for them to find a woman who is not intimated by this fetish and luckily there are many women who find this very sexy.  They do not mind their men wearing lingerie and even go so far as to purchase it for them so the man in question does not feel embarrassed by making the purchase.

Men Who Want Their Women in Lingerie

Finally there are those men who simply want to see their women wearing sexy lingerie whenever they are being intimate together.  Some may only want their women to wear sexy panties that they can take with them as a souvenir.  A used panty fetish is very common and the men who have this fetish use the panties as a way of reliving the sexual encounter later down the road.  Some men are embarrassed by this fetish so they may actual steal the panties or lingerie rather than simply asking for it.  Many women would not have a problem wearing the panties or lingerie that the men buy for them so they don’t have to buy them when they are stolen. 
It is very common for straight men to have a fetish for women’s lingerie and they may enjoy wearing or seeing their female partners wearing these sexy pieces of clothing.  Lingerie is made to feel good against the skin and offers men a chance to know what it is like to feel like a woman once in a while.

Author Bio – Damian Hector is a blogger who specializes in fetishes.

Tuesday, March 26

Premature ejaculation - Start-stop Technique

What is premature ejaculation ?

When a man is stimulated sexually - indirectly or directly - he will usually erection. Continued stimulation of the penis - for example, by masturbation or intercourse leads after short or long time to release.

Some men get very fast release. This can cause problems in the sexual relationship if the partner needs more time to come up with and even ejaculate.

Since his release at the same time leads to erection wholly or partially disappear for a time, and the desire might also can cause problems in the sexual relationship nuisance to both parties.

It happens almost any man in between. But if the problem of premature ejaculation continues for a long time and almost every time, and if it affects sex life in general, you should look to do something about it - like with his partner.

It is a good idea to talk to your doctor about it or may be referred to a marital therapist. The common problem, because it is a common problem that must be addressed together, and it is not something that man can handle alone.

How to treat premature ejaculation?

Treatment - if you can call it that - usually consists of several parts. We will later be doing an  article on sensory training. Until this article is done,  it might be an idea to try to remedy the problem of premature ejaculation at a so-called stop-start technique.

More kick ass Techniques here

How does the stop-start technique work? ?

  • Remember that in the case of an exercise and not part of a sexual intercourse. No kissing or tampering or otherwise in advance. Even afterwards.
  • You are naked and relaxed on his back. Your partner sitting or lying next to you. Or sit between your legs apart. Also nude. You are passive, while she is active.
  • She caresses you - touch you with his hand - so you get an erection. You concentrate solely on her caresses and the sensations and the sexual tension that can arise. She does it gently and lovingly or harder if you prefer. But it is she who set the pace.
  • When you feel the sexual tension increases, and your ejaculation approaching, you say stop, so you do not get trigger.
  • She keeps up immediately to touch you - let go - and the sexual tension subsides. Raising reduced maybe you calm down and you can feel that you do not get the trigger right away.
  • Then she begins again to touch you, then you again get an erection and increasing voltage and is about to come to you again say stop. In this way, stops and starts in three times. But the fourth time in this context charm. She continues to release you.
  • So it is what is called "stop and start" technique.
How often should you repeat the exercise?
Repeat the exercise as often as you like and opportunity. But remember, you are always passive, and she alone is active. And to think that there is an exercise that is not part of a sexual intercourse. It is not "allowed" to add or continue to caress her, even if both you and she would want it. If she needs to go further to even have an orgasm, she must do it alone, without your assistance or presence. You have the need to concentrate on your own problem without having to provide anything to her.

Only click this if you want to be the ejaculation king

When you are ready for intercourse?

  • As you learn to control your ejaculation better, so it takes longer and longer until you say stop. So it is time to step caressing.
  • She can use a water-soluble cream, hand lotion or oil, for example, almond, as she lubricates at hand before she starts touching you, she can also use saliva or mucus from the vagina. In this way, slipping his hand easier when she is not on your limb, and you get the feeling that resembles a little about when you're inside her during intercourse.
  • After some experiments with stop-start in this way, you can also do it. And there is still a long time from the time she begins to touch you to feel the impending release turns out, you begin to control it. It gives you confidence.
  • And then the time may come when you try an actual intercourse. You still lie on your back, and she sits over you gently and quietly.
  • Maybe your excitement in the situation so much that you immediately are recovering. So you say stop and then she immediately get off again - for a short while. So over again until you can control yourself.
  • Once you feel that you re-mastered your craving for release, she moves gently up and down, just for you again say stop.
  • I will start when you are ready again and continues three times. Only the fourth time continue on to you ejaculates. But remember that such intercourse and intercourse alone is on your terms and for your sake. She is your active partner who only get the joy of helping you. Only when everything is in place and you get a better handle on the trigger, you can amuse yourselves as it suits you.
  • If you agree, and if your partner feel to it, it's a good idea to her before or after a technical stop-start intercourse with ejaculation - for a while - stimulated by you, or themselves, to release . But remember that during the intercourse, it is only your feelings and your release, it is all about.
This stop-start technique must be considered as part of a treatment by a marital therapist. M can test yourself, but the best results when you do if you also have a professional adviser who you can talk to about everything that might also be used in your sex life.